As I've worked writing back into my life after babies and illness and all the rest I've learned this one important thing: for me, it's about the balance.
Two things.
One. I can't go without writing for very long or I go crazy. It must be part of my day, nearly every day, and that's just all there is to it. Without that creative outlet I become fairly useless in every other facet of my life, or I at least feel that way: lackluster, bored, lifeless. Why am I here? Why is anyone here? I can't even eat potato chips. What's the point?
Two. I can't write all day every day without going crazy either. If it takes over more than several hours I get flighty, antisocial, and even somewhat paranoid. Too much imagination is not always comfortable. Also, the children get dirty, hungry, and finally start to get in the way of my computer screen.
Six Things
So these are my priorities (in alphabetical order) as of the first of this year and it is working very well for me. Family, Friends, God, Health, Housework, Writing. I think six things is a lot, but this is what my priorities really are. I couldn't lose any of them.
Family. I'm not sure this needs any explanation. I try to be there when my kids need me. They plop on my bed when I'm about to go so sleep and chat with me. I love that. I take them to karate (and whip out my laptop while they learn to kick things). I try to play with the little one for some time every day. I get out bikes, kiss crusty faces, and pick them up whenever they call. I am not a perfect parent but I try to let my kids know I love them no matter what. My husband is an amazing spouse and we cultivate a great relationship.
Friends. I love my friends and would be lost without them. They are much like family to me.
God. Like anything would happen in my life without God. He's given me everything, I can certainly do what he tells me now. For me that's mainly church, serving others, scripture study, and prayer. I don't let it slide.
Health. I have to pay attention to this every day. My diet is difficult and I cook nearly every pure thing I eat with my very own hands. I exercise, too. But not too much. And I look after everyone else's health in our food challenged family. It was overwhelming at first. Now, it's just life.
Housework. I know, I know. It isn't very writerly to worry about the housework. All great writers say they have given up cleaning their houses to make the time for writing. Well, I've been to some of their houses and they are lying. At least some of them are. I can't write in a messy house, mainly because if my house is messy, I can't immediately direct someone to what their asking for and get back to my writing in a timely fashion. It nags at me until I'm done. Ten minutes of laundry is going to become two hours of back breaking work before long. So I baby the OCD tendencies consistently and then get on with my life.
Writing. I write a couple of hours every day. I wish it were more, and when the little one goes to school, I am planning to bump it up. But for my balance right now, this is where it's comfortable even though it's not my ideal plan. Of course I place all my "story" time in this category, too. I can't watch a TV show, see a movie, or read a book without analyzing character, plot, and what made the story worked. Is that justifying entertainment? Sure. But I want to learn to be entertaining, so it works for me.
And that's it. If I'm not doing one of these things then I question its value and I usually don't do it often or get rid of it entirely. Sometimes surprising things end up not actually being as family oriented as I thought they were and I back away from them. PTA volunteering for example, my kids could care less if I did that so it's something of a time waster for me. Teaching a writing class for kids though...now, who could resist that? So I juggle and learn and find what works for me.
If you want to truly write, there isn't much that can stop you. Sure, there is a thing or two that might, I don't deny it; I've experienced that actually. But if you continue on with the dream, you just might work your way around those rare obstacles. Then figure out your own balance and what you really want. No one can do it but you. And really, very little can stop you but you.
